Kid Friendly Communication after Divorce.

Happy Monday!

Welcome to February!

I want to share a rarely easy strategy you can implement if your desire is to get your child(ren) to open up more since the divorce.

After I had divorced my children's father, actually before, while in progress, and after the divorce, my sons and I attended counseling.

One of the strategies I created I called "a date with mom." My children would each receive a letter in the mail accompanied by a survey they were to complete.

The letter would inform that son that he had a dinner date with me on such-n-such date and time. The location was his choice. My son would have to complete his survey and bring it to the date.
The letter would include a message stating he was free of any penalties, reprimand, or punishment of any form of sharing his real feelings on each question.

I created this strategy as a way to get my sons to open up as I felt they were repressing feelings in regards to the divorce.

This strategy was a great success;  we met twice a year until one of my sons stated, "Mom its okay we're good, we don't need to meet anymore."  This strategy gave my sons their voice back. They felt empowered like their feelings mattered.

The strategy provided me with the information I needed. I received a report card indicating their view of how I was doing. I found out from both; I was hollering too much. My hollering belittled them. One son thought the divorce was his fault because I spent so much time with them.

We, as adults understand that divorce is not our children's fault, it's our fault, therefore, we should go above and beyond the call of duty helping our children any way we can as they make adjustments to their new normal.

Create no more than ten questions in survey form, draft a letter informing them of the date you all intended to meet and instruction on how to complete a survey. Be sure to stress this is a penalty free event and Keep your word. Place all in envelope address, stamp, and mail. Do not hand it to your child. The first few times they receive the letter in the mail will be very exciting to them.

Have no discussions until your dinner date. Have fun getting to know your child all over again and learning a few things about yourself. If you need question ideas, respond to this post.