The 30-Day Sacrifice

We, our family, friends, co-workers, etc. will usually express our desires, wants, wish-list, and even must haves.
However, many fail to follow through with a plan of action. I asked several students,

"What do you want?" Not one failed to answer.

Then I asked, "What are you willing to give up, to get what you want?"

 Few were able to answer and even less were prepared to give up anything.

Renard and I decided to give up television for different reasons for 30-Days.

This book will challenge your belief system.
It would cause you to question if what you want, is really what you want. If so, what are you willing to do to make your want a reality.

 Do you want better abs, stronger prayer life, less cursing, a heftier savings account, or a better relationship with others?

Well, are you willing to give up FB for 30 min and work on abs?

Give up reality tv for prayer?

 Learn a new positive word each day for 30-Days over cursing?

 Skip buying lunch twice per week and deposit the money into your savings account?

Humble yourself to friends, co-workers and spouse even when right to have a more peaceful relationship?

Follow Renard and my journey as you create your own with "The 30-Day Sacrifice" Let the journey begin, it'll all be over in 30-days, C'mon you can do it! Invest in YOU!

I'd Do It Again

Revamping, is it that time?

Good Afternoon Dear Ones,

I am in the process of completing book number 6, organizing my marketing campaign, as well as revamping my entire blog. Therefore, my blog will be on hiatus status for a brief season.

 I am anticipating  two-minute video sessions with me instead of writing the blog out. What do you think? How receptive would you be to a 2-minute video a couple of times per week?

You could listen as you get dressed, or brush your teeth since you are to brush for two minutes anyway...hey that's a good idea, Carolyn Denise!

Let me hear your comments, I do this for you!

I Got You
Carolyn Denise
Your Approachable, Accessible, Author!

Kid Friendly Communication after Divorce.

Happy Monday!

Welcome to February!

I want to share a rarely easy strategy you can implement if your desire is to get your child(ren) to open up more since the divorce.

After I had divorced my children's father, actually before, while in progress, and after the divorce, my sons and I attended counseling.

One of the strategies I created I called "a date with mom." My children would each receive a letter in the mail accompanied by a survey they were to complete.

The letter would inform that son that he had a dinner date with me on such-n-such date and time. The location was his choice. My son would have to complete his survey and bring it to the date.
The letter would include a message stating he was free of any penalties, reprimand, or punishment of any form of sharing his real feelings on each question.

I created this strategy as a way to get my sons to open up as I felt they were repressing feelings in regards to the divorce.

This strategy was a great success;  we met twice a year until one of my sons stated, "Mom its okay we're good, we don't need to meet anymore."  This strategy gave my sons their voice back. They felt empowered like their feelings mattered.

The strategy provided me with the information I needed. I received a report card indicating their view of how I was doing. I found out from both; I was hollering too much. My hollering belittled them. One son thought the divorce was his fault because I spent so much time with them.

We, as adults understand that divorce is not our children's fault, it's our fault, therefore, we should go above and beyond the call of duty helping our children any way we can as they make adjustments to their new normal.

Create no more than ten questions in survey form, draft a letter informing them of the date you all intended to meet and instruction on how to complete a survey. Be sure to stress this is a penalty free event and Keep your word. Place all in envelope address, stamp, and mail. Do not hand it to your child. The first few times they receive the letter in the mail will be very exciting to them.

Have no discussions until your dinner date. Have fun getting to know your child all over again and learning a few things about yourself. If you need question ideas, respond to this post.

Will the Real YOU Please Stand UP!

Happy Friday!

Speaking to a group in Maryland, someone asked: "How can I be a better father to my children?"
I shut the whole meeting down with this answer.
"Be the man at home you are at church." 
Done, that's it. Point blank and the period!

Our children see home parent and church parent, and the two contradict one another.  One of the number one accusations towards Christians is "Christians are hypocrites."

Unfortunately,  truth resides in the statement. For some reason, the place we should feel free to be our real selves is the place where we master acting skills.

 Our children see the brokenness, tears, arguing, lying, boy/girlfriends in and out, etc. at home. However, once at church, they see a well pulled together loving couple shouting their "praise the Lord's" right on cue.


What if our children had the pleasure of seeing the consistency of the gospel manifested in your life and the Lord you shout praises to at church, you praise even louder with your actions behind closed doors where it matters most.

Will the Real YOU Please Stand UP!

I Got You,

Carolyn Denise

Your Approachable, Accessible, Author

www.carolyndenise.com

P.S. If you order from my site, your book is personally autographed. Pick up your copy today!

Recognizing and Conquering Verbal Abuse in the Family

Yes, Verbal Abuse is in our churches!

There is no need to recreate the wheel!

http://www.todayschristianwoman.com/articles/2004/september/silent-epidemic.htmlhttp://www.todayschristianwoman.com/articles/2004/september/silent-epidemic.html

Blessings, CD

I Got You,

Carolyn Denise

Your Approachable, Accessible, Author

www.carolyndenise.com

P.S. If you order from my site, your book is personally autographed. Pick up your copy today!

Recognizing and Conquering Verbal Abuse in the Family

What are you tolerating in your relationship? Is it healthy for you?

https://scontent.ftpa1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/10649522_10153160596820513_6040359533945943967_n.jpg?oh=0a3ede66937558ee418cc0b0b2dbf8f0&oe=56FB377E

Because of the statistics shared in this link, we have to continue speaking to our children about abuse of all forms. Verbal abuse and verbal bullying are markless on the human body. However, the human spirit is bruised and broken with every abusive word thrown.

http://www.safevoices.org/statistics.php

Additional resources:

You can read more concerning the statistics provided, and more data at www.ncadv.org, www.endabuse.org, www.loveisrespect.org, www.womenslaw.org, and www.abanet.org.


What do you think of these statistics? Does verbal abuse happen in the church? Share your comment(s) below, thank you!

I Got You,

Carolyn Denise

Your Approachable, Accessible, Author

www.carolyndenise.com

P.S. If you order from my site, your book is personally autographed. Pick up your copy today!

Recognizing and Conquering Verbal Abuse in the Family

What is Verbal/Emotional Abuse?

Verbal Abuse:

1. How is verbal abuse defined?

2. What does verbal abuse look like on a person?

If you ask one to define physical abuse, you may quickly get several responses such as:

a.    A woman with a black eye

b.    Bruises all over the body

c.    Broken bones

d.    Flinching when an abuser reaches towards them

If asked to define sexual abuse, again we could provide answers:

a.    Vaginal tearing in a child (or adult reporting rape)

b.    Rape victim

c.   Anal penetration of a child (or adult reporting crime)

d.    Sexually transmitted disease (child or an adult reporting abuse)

But, verbal abuse, you can’t see, there are no apparent tale, tale signs. In my first marriage, I tried to get away by going to a local shelter in North Florida. The lady opened the door looked me up and down with my two kids and stated, “Lady, you don’t have any signs of abuse, we have women here with real problems, you can’t stay here.” That was over 20 years ago and though time has progressed, and verbal abuse is at least acknowledged as a form of violence, we still have work to do if we want the next generation to understand the damage caused by the fiercest weapon on our body, the tongue. I was leaving a Local grocery store one afternoon and heard a young man (about 17-19yrs old) call a girl (about 16-17 yrs. old) several names and ended with “B@#^& before I slap you.” Her response, “Boy you so silly,” As she lowered her head, and laughed” Why did she lower her head? Could something in her spirit have shouted CHECKMATE, WE’RE OUT OF HERE, understanding she, a triune being deserved better? Was she ashamed because I heard the way she allowed herself to be spoken too? 

Verbal abuse is constantly putting someone down, causing one to question him or her ability is another form of verbal abuse. I speak of several subtle forms in my book, Recognizing and Conquering Verbal Abuse in the Family

A person suffering from verbal abuse may second-guess all of their decisions, are hard on ones-self, insecure, name calls a lot (especially in children) and people pleasers just to name some symptoms. It is, in my opinion, worst than physical abuse if not as damaging due to the emotional scarring. I’ll pick up next week, Monday, January 25, 2016, as we talk about statistics and church abuse.

I Got You,

Carolyn Denise

Your Approachable, Accessible, Author

www.carolyndenise.com

P.S. If you order from my site, your book is personally autographed. Pick up your copy today!

Recognizing and Conquering Verbal Abuse in the Family

Consistency! It is what you can expect from me.

Good Evening Beautiful People,
Lately, I have been extremely sporadic with my post. The last post before this month was in November. That is behind me; you can expect to receive a new post every Monday-Wednesday-Friday.
Yes, at least, three times a week expect new material from Carolyn Denise. I apologize for the gap, delay in sharing but as I desire to grow my audience I need to provide the reading that is relevant to today.
I can't accomplish that goal if I am not posting on a consistent basis. You all know I do not run from difficult issues, so, get ready to share as we conquer the subject matter, "Verbal Abuse"

I got you,
Carolyn Denise
Accessible, Approachable, Author!

Encourage Yourself By: Donald Lawrence